Hello! Happy New Year’s eve!!!! As you can tell by the title I’m gonna be doing one of those typical highlights of 2017 posts today. 2017 kinda just felt like another year but I thought it would be nice to reflect on some things that happened because I do feel like I grew personally this year. This was the first year that for the entire year I was out of school as a college graduate so basically my first year as a real adult. While I didn’t really make any growth in my career I made a lot in my heart and mind which to me is just as if not more important.
The first highlight of my year is letting go of a toxic friendship, I started this year totally heartbroken because I was trying so hard to hold onto a friendship that just wasn’t working, I was anxious all the time I was incredibly depressed, I really couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel because I couldn’t see anything besides this friendship working out. Once I let it go my mental health got worlds better, my friends could just hear it in my voice that I was happier and I could feel it in my heart that I felt happier.
Kinda going off the last one my next highlight is accepting my mental health and doing small things to improve it. It has always been tough for me to say that i’m depressed or that things make me anxious I use to and sometimes still feel guilty because other people in my life who suffer from the same mental illness have had worse things happen to them. In the grand scheme of things nothing “bad” has happened to me. I’ve had friends tell me that my parents give me everything which is true they do, even still they will give me money to buy a pizza, so i use to feel guilty for being so sad all the time as if I didn’t have a reason to be. I had to learn that even though nothing traumatic has happened I’ve still had my own shit that I’ve dealt with and my feelings are only mine and they are valid. Once I fully accepted that and let go of someone who was only making the sadness worse I was able to find someways to improve my mental health. I started doing yoga in my bedroom at night every now and then to help with my anxiety and clear my mind. I would also go to the gym and swim laps when I would be feeling really cloudy and just off. I didn’t do either of these things for the physical exercise purpose but more for how they made my mind feel, it was just an added bonus that they are good for my body as well. My mental health isn’t fixed just yet, I’ve had good days this year and i’ve had really really bad awful days but making my mental health a priority is a big accomplishment for me.
Another highlight for me is, I have gotten better at things that cause me a lot of anxiety this year. For as long as I can remember calling places was so hard for me, it still is. I still can’t call places and have other people in the room with me but there have been more then one occasion where i’ll have to call my bank and talk to someone in customer service without my voice and my whole body shaking. I know it seems so small but it just shows that I am actually progressing in my mental health journey. Another thing that makes me really anxious is driving, now it’s not so much my driving that makes me anxious it’s not being in control of everyone else on the road which in turn could end up affecting me. With it being the winter I’ve had to drive in the snow, I have a small corolla so driving in the snow is really terrifying to me. Now I don’t want it to seem like I got through all these times driving in the tricky weather without anxiety because I didn’t, every time I got to my destination i’d either be shaky for a little while or i’d start crying. The reason i’m counting this as an accomplishment is because I didn’t let the anxiety win and stop me from doing it. Sure the anxiety may have caught up with me but that was after I had already accomplished my task, and that’s what makes it an accomplishment for me.
My next accomplishment for the year is I made my first adult purchase and bought a new mattress! Again i know this seems so stupid but let me explain, so everyone in my family has “advised” (forbid) me to not get a credit card until I have a full time salary job so I don’t run into credit card debt. Meaning everything i’ve bought so far in my life I’ve had the money in my bank account to pay for…until my mattress. Since I pay a student loan I had a good enough credit score to finance a mattress. Which was really really exciting because 1. I needed a new mattress and 2. It’s all mine my parents have put some money into it as my birthday gift since we bought it around my birthday but other then that it’s all mine which i’ve never had something of this value that was solely all mine.
As I said earlier this is the first year that I’ve fully been out of school meaning I’ve had to pay my student loan. For my loan you get six months after you graduate where you don’t have to pay yet but I have officially paid it for a full year which again is a first for me. I know it’s a really small thing, these all are but they are all firsts for me and when you start becoming an adult all the little firsts are important. I’m proud that i’ve been on top of never paying it late, or never having to ask my parents if they can cover me for a month. I don’t have a lot of bills, honestly I have this and mattress but I feel that building a good foundation for paying bills will be helpful for me when I have more to pay which I know is inevitably in my future
My last and most special achievement from 2017 is starting my blog. This blog is my baby and this space is my space to share my thoughts, feelings and opinions with anyone who cares to read it. I don’t have a big page but that’s okay with me, we all have to start somewhere and this year was my starting point. I’m proud of my blog and the posts I’ve put out there and I can’t wait to hopefully continue to grow my page in 2018, to anyone who has read, liked, commented or followed my page thank you I do genuinely really appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed.
I hope you all have a happy and blessed 2018, Happy New Year. Until next time…..
Be Nice. Be Good.