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I Feel Lost.

Lost

Hello! Welcome Back, today I just kind of wanted to talk to you guys openly and honestly. I mean I’m always open and honest with you but today it’s going to be deeper then what snacks and shows I’ve been loving. I feel very vulnerable writing this out, which is really scary but I’ve been feeling something for a while and I don’t want to miss an opportunity to maybe help someone with my struggles.

I feel lost, and I’ve felt lost for a long time. I have a lot of things coming at my from every direction from people really close to me, and it’s making me feel lost and overwhelmed. I’m sure you’ve all felt this at some point in your life, like you’re never going to amount to anything? You feel as if you’re giving all you have to give but it’s not enough so you start to question everything. That’s where I’m at, I’m constantly questioning myself and my worth. I get overwhelmed and start to shut down. Then I get fed up with being mean to myself and work on getting better. Then someone close to me will say something hurtful and I’ll be back at square one questioning myself. It’s a never ending battle of wondering if I’m good enough and it’s exhausting. At the expense of sounding overly dramatic, it sucks my quality of life out of me. Why do we let other people have such a hold on us? Why do we go out of our way to convince ourselves that we aren’t good enough? Why especially as woman are we taught to not praise ourselves or know our worth? When I ask these questions and really think about them, I realize they are all real things some of us deal with but they are also bullshit.

Why do we let other people have such a hold on us? This is a big one for me…they all are, but this one in particular hits home. I’m a BIG people pleaser, I want other people’s approval so badly that it ends up causing me to feel empty and lost. I don’t go after what I truly want because I fear that someone close to me won’t approve of it. I start to think “well if they don’t approve of it then it must be a terrible idea. I can’t do it.” When I should be telling myself, and what all of us who are affected by this should be saying is “It’s okay if they don’t approve, this isn’t their life. This is my life.” It’s really hard for me to be “selfish” like that, to take ownership for my own life decisions without the approval of others. I’m working really hard to teach myself that it’s okay to be assertive in what you want from life, but that’s easier said than done. Something I like to remember when I’m struggling with this is that, literally every single person on this planet is removable from your life except yourself. Your friends, your family, your coworkers they technically can ALL be removed from your life, but you can’t be so WHY NOT live the life you want?

Why do we go out of our way to convince ourselves we’re not good enough? For me personally this one goes hand in hand with the last question. I’ll use comments made to me in the past by loved ones and convince myself I’m not good enough. It’s something that is very deeply rooted in me, but why do we do it? Don’t you think it would just be easier to just believe we’re good enough? Of course in the long run it would be easier, but for some reason we are always comparing ourselves. We are, or at least I am like a kitchen sponge. I absorb all the yucky stuff people say, and as much as I try to clean myself of it I can never fully wash away all the filth. If you don’t know, I’m 23 years old and I feel like I’m in a really confusing yet crucial part of my life. I’m considered an adult that should have X,Y and Z figured out, yet my brain isn’t even fully developed. Hell, I’m not even old enough to rent a car in America. Seeing old classmates or hearing about a neighbors child who is engaged, who has this great job or who has moved to Chicago and constantly seeing other people’s lives move forward is really hard to accept. Especially when you’re feeling like your feet are stuck in cement. This is where my faith and my religion come in, I believe God has a plan for all of us. I believe he’s had this plan for longer then I can imagine. That’s what I remind myself when I notice I’m starting to give into those “I’m going nowhere” thoughts. I am not working on my time, I’m working and growing on God’s time.

Why are we especially as woman, taught to not praise ourselves or know our worth? I’m sure we’ve all seen those screenshots on social media where a guy compliments a girl, and she assures him that she knows how beautiful she is. Then he goes and takes back the compliment as if he was doing her a favor by complimenting her. While I feel like we are getting a lot better at this, it’s still kind of frowned upon for a woman to be openly confident in herself and her accomplishments. I think that can really contribute to feeling lost because you’re working so hard, but still expected to keep quiet about how hard you work. If a woman is confident in her achievements she can be seen as arrogant and conceded, but if a man does it he’s self sufficient and a leader. If a woman is in a work environment with all males, she likely won’t get taken seriously. She won’t be asked to contribute her thoughts and ideas unless she asserts herself. Only problem with that is, she may be considered bitchy. My goodness, having that patriarchy engraved into your mind as a woman is exhausting, isn’t it? I’m now at a point, as are many other woman where I have to teach myself that being confident and being proud of my achievements does NOT make me arrogant. I’m not saying that woman are openly being taught to not be confident, even though in some places they most definitely are. That’s just the thing with patriarchy, it’s so mindlessly engraved into society that it can be hard to separate ourselves from it. Learning to be confident in your accomplishments is just something as a woman you have to take the time to learn. I have recently started journaling in this journal called I Totally Got This. Writing down and reminding yourself everyday how great you are and how PROUD of yourself you should be is a step towards confidence. It’s also something that, when you’re feeling less confident you can go back and remind yourself because it’s your words. Your feelings, not someone else telling you how great you are.

It’s okay to feel lost, it’s normal. We aren’t meant to have all the answers, life wouldn’t be so three dimensional if we did. I hope this post made some type of sense and I didn’t ramble on to much. I think it’s nice to every now and then break down some questions and feelings we all go through. Once we break them down and get to the root of the question we will be able to rebuild in a different way. It’s okay to fall down, it’s okay to get swept back into depression time after time. You know you can get up and move forward because you’ve done it so many time before. Being lost is scary as hell, it’s lonely and uncertain. It’s painful but it’s also beautiful. Every time you are feeling lost, remember that you are in the stages of metamorphosis changing into this beautiful butterfly. What do you do when you’re feeling lost? How do you process or move forward from it. Leave me a comment below, we can all help each other in this crazy journey called life. Thank you for stopping by. Until next time..

Be Nice. Be Good.

Mich. X

* this post may contain affiliate links, I will always only recommend products I have used and believe in*

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Simply Michelle View All →

Hi! I’m Michelle, but you can call me Mich. I’m just your normal 23 year old trying to figure out life and thought I’d share some of my experiences and interests with the world. This blog will cover all things under the sun from makeup favorites to mental health to religion and everything serious or not so serious in between! I want us to build a little community filled with love and support so please leave me comments and hit that follow button on your way out. This blog has a very special place in my heart and feels like a important part of my path in life so I hope you stay a while and check out what it’s like to be Simply Michelle.

Be Nice. Be Good.

27 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I recently went through a moment like this. Like, full on existential crisis mode. Couldn’t figure out what I liked to do, what I wanted, basic things you should at least know by 28. It started causing panic attacks at work whenever I had the free time to think.

    It took some research on how to find myself, then research *about* myself, and some silly projects to get myself back on track. I have a plan to write an ebook about all of it.

    XO Steph
    littlemissshortstuff.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have had feelings just like this recently, I changed jobs and didn’t earn as much and I just didn’t know what I wanted to do anymore! I’m still not 100% but I’m getting there! I hope you start feeling better! It’s always worse before it’s better xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel exactly the same right now and I’m constantly feeling overwhelmed. It’s not a nice feeling is it?! 🙈 I feel like there’s so much pressure while your in your 20’s to get stuff sorted out but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Thank you for this post, it’s made me feel that I’m not alone. Sending you lots of love 💕

    Samantha | https://believeinamiracle.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

    • you are 100% not alone, but i do understand how easy it is to feel alone when you’re feeling lost. happens to me all the time! no matter how much society tells us there is, there’s no time line on when you need to have it figured out. sending lots of love right back to you xx

      Like

  4. It’s about the journey they say and sometimes getting lost is a part of that but as long as you keep walking, eventually you will find your way back or forward or wherever life will take you and it’ll be okay. It’s like you say, it’ll help you grow. It’s very brave of you to write about this and to share it with all of us. Sometimes when I feel really lost all I can do is cry, but then I accept that right now I just need to feel this and I know that it will pass. And trust for tomorrow to possibly be better. Never give up!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a really inspiring post and I applaud you for being brave enough to write and share it! The points you’ve risen are so bloody true too, it’s horrible that us women are SO conditioned to hate ourselves and put ourselves down. I really hope you feel a bit brighter soon lovely, sending lots of positive vibes and love!
    Alice Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, i totally agree. we are conditioned to hate ourselves but when you let people know that we do we’re STILL put down for not liking ourselves. we can truly never win. sending love right back to you xx

      Like

  6. I absolutely love this post and there’s so many bits that I can strongly relate to. I often sit asking myself these questions and other similar things, and sometimes it can be hard to search for answers so you’ve really helped to put some things into perspective. I especially love the bit about not letting people have a hold on us – I’m always seeking from approval, especially from certain family members and I need to remember even though they are family, it’s still not okay to let it happen. I really love the last paragraph about metamorphosis as I’ve been feeling very lost this evening so I needed reminding that I’m still growing and changing x

    Alice | http://www.accordingtoalicex.com

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This post is everything I didn’t know I needed, it’s so honest and pure and often a lot of bloggers would be afraid of posting something like this. I think it is important though to have moments like this as it gives us a little perspective and can allow us to sit back and see things clearly, like you have. You can only grow from this and just like you say one day it’ll be your turn to turn into a beautiful butterfly. That moment will come and you’ll be amazing I’m sure. Thank you for such a raw and honest post. x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sending so much love to you beautiful. You’re so brave to put this personal post out and so many people are grateful for it, myself included. You’re amazing. Lots of love. (P.S if you ever need to vent, DM me on Twitter. Always here for you. ) xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can relate to this so much! I’m also 23 and have very similar thoughts about should I be here/ there, but what about what that person has already achieved all the time. It’s a real struggle so I applaud you for putting this post out there. I honestly don’t know what to suggest other than (and this could be foolish), I feel like everyone has a moment in life where their brain just clicks and they figure out what they want. You might still be a million miles from it but it’s a little harder to be lost when you’re following a path. Amazing post! x

    Sophie
    http://www.glowsteady.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love posts like these! And I love this in particular, just know that you’re not alone and never will be…they’re SO many of us in our 20s that just don’t have it figured out and I think that’s absolutely ok. I feel like this is so relatable and like way too much pressure is put on 20 year olds to have things ALL or majority figured out. They’re so many people that think they have it all figured out and end back up in the same predicament as those who are labelled as lost. You’ll be good hun, just be patient with yourself, be determined and passionate but don’t stress…it’ll all work out how it needs to. 😀 ❤

    xx Lena | https://lenadeexo.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • thank you so much, it’s so nice to be reminded that i’m not alone in this feeling. you’re totally right, it’ll work out how it’s suppose to when it’s suppose to. sending lots of love xx

      Like

    • thank you so much! i think you’re right that we never have it all figured out, sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves and think we need to even thought we really don’t because again you’re right, life is a journey not a destination! sending love and positive vibes xx

      Like

  11. Great post, and congratulations on having the courage to write it, and even more so, the courage to ask all those difficult questions. I can tell you these feelings never completely go away (at least not yet for me and I’m probably twice as old as you!). Hopefully, with time, we all get better at dispensing with them, and recognizing them as groundless and irrational. We are all worthy of love, especially because of our imperfections and shortcomings. Those traits make us each unique and human. The first day we experience true, unbridled self acceptance and self-love is the day all the other things begin to matter less!
    Joan Senio
    kindness-compassion-and-coaching.com
    @joansenio1

    Liked by 1 person

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