Hey guys! Happy Valentine’s Day! Do you feel that? That love in the air? No?…..just me finishing my heart shaped Reese’s? Okay moving on… being single on Valentine’s day is always looked at as something to be miserable about. Like all of us single people are going to be crying, while we stuff our face with chocolate. I for one, will be stuffing my face with chocolate but I won’t be crying because I’m single. Having a significant other is great, and I’m not knocking anyone who has one. However, there are those of us who are making the choice to be single and that’s just as great. Even on Valentine’s Day.
Choosing to be Single
I get asked a lot, by friends and family why I don’t have a significant other. Obviously they are coming from a good place of wanting me to be happy with someone else because they think I’m smart and pretty yada yada. It’s not like I’m totally going out of my way to not have a boyfriend, but I’m also not going out of my way TO have a boyfriend. Nearly two years ago I got out of a toxic friendship, and it really messed me up. I’ve had fairly low self-esteem my whole life so, I’ve had this thought of not being ready to date for a long time, but how I became in this friendship solidified that for me. The need for this friend to love me became crippling, I couldn’t function without them telling me they loved me it still makes me shudder to this day.
After I started to heal the wound that friendship had left, I made a promise to myself. I would never again in my life define my worth on someone else. I would never NEED someone to love me again, too make up for the fact that I don’t love myself. I’m not saying that I need to be perfect, because clearly that’ll never happen. What I am saying though is, I’m making the choice to continue to work on myself BY myself. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, which makes me feel more comfortable talking about it. I’ve made this choice so that when I do find someone they can become an addition to my life but not my whole life.
During the run up to Valentine’s Day you see everyone talking about activities for couples to do on that special day. While us single folks might not have someone to spend a romantic evening with, we can spend a romantic evening with ourselves.
If you really think about it, majority of the typical romantic activities couples do on Valentine’s Day can be done solo. Candle lit dinner, bubble bath with roses, sexy time in lingerie…all can be done solo. While physical self-love is totally normal and healthy for that matter, it’s not something I usually talk about here on my blog. So, here are some other self-love activities you can do if you’re Valentine’s date goes by the name “Me, Myself and I.”
- Read a romance novel
- Watch a Rom-Com
- Paint your nails
- Cuddle with your fur baby
- Do a hair and face mask
- Cook your favorite meal
My Valentine’s Day
My Valentine’s Day looks pretty much like the one that I have outlined above. I’m going to have a nice bowl of mac and cheese while I watch the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy. What I want you all to remember is that in a relationship or not, when it comes down to it February 14th is just another day on the calendar. Don’t let all the loved up couples bring you down, but at the same time don’t bring them down because they do have someone.
If you don’t have someone to make you feel loved, show yourself that love. You want flowers? Buy them for yourself. You want a fancy Italian dinner? Order Olive Garden to go. You want someone to give you a massage? Book yourself a trip to the spa. I fully believe that we are all where we’re meant to be in this moment, and that people come into our lives when we need them too. When we stop putting so much pressure on finding someone else to complete us, and focus on completing ourselves that’s when we come alive.
What do your Valentine’s Day plans look like? Loved up or not, let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by..until next time..
Be Nice. Be Good.