Hey guys! It’s been a little while since I’ve posted. In my last post I spoke about the importance of taking a break, and that’s exactly what I did. This small break has given me the opportunity to experience some necessary things, that I hope to share and turn into something inspiring for everyone. One of the things I experienced was my best friend being bullied and called belittling names by her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. While this incident got me fuming with anger it also got me thinking about the importance of inner beauty.
Almost everyone goes through this at some point, your ex gets into a new relationship and you wonder if the new person they’re seeing is “better” or “prettier” than you. So, of course that question came out of my friends mouth. “Michelle, is she prettier than me? Why would she say that stuff about me? She doesn’t even know me..” This question lead me to really examine the weight of inner beauty, and how it can affect people’s view of you.
What is Inner Beauty?
As women, physical beauty has sadly been the most important quality for as long as I can remember and inner beauty has been painted as something to mock. I’m sure we’ve all heard that the term inner beauty is just used by “ugly” people to make themselves feel better.
Honestly, that’s the biggest load of garbage I’ve ever heard. Inner Beauty is about who you are as a person. What your morals are, how you treat others even when they’ve hurt you. It’s the making of you as a person, not as a body. Inner beauty, is your character and it’s what others will remember once you’re gone.
Outer Beauty Vs. Inner Beauty
So much emphasis is put on our outer beauty that we start to define ourselves by it. We only feel worthy if we start to get attention from potential mates, or if people fluff up our ego with compliments about what’s outside. We brush off things like “you’re a good person” but live off of things like “those jeans make your butt look good.” I’m not saying you shouldn’t take pride in your butt looking good, you work what yo’ momma gave you honey. I’m saying as a society we have it all backwards.
It’s no secret that our outer beauty changes as we get older, that’s just apart of being a human. So what do we have when that outer beauty has “faded“? When we have everything society deems unattractive like, wrinkles, cellulite, grey hair, loose skin. What do we have left to offer once everything society has deemed worthy is gone? You’ve guessed it…we have our inner beauty.
I can recognize that with so much emphasis on outer beauty, the words inner beauty can feel like a cheap shot. As I mentioned earlier I think saying inner beauty is just a way for ugly girls to feel okay with themselves is bull-shit, but with the amount of weight we put on outer beauty I understand it. So how can we as a society start to change this?
Flipping Societies Narrative
Changing the way society looks at inner vs outer beauty, is no simple task. Nor is it a task you or I can fix on our own. With how embedded female beauty standards are in our minds, it’ll take an army. However, there are a few things you can do in your personal life to help open up this conversation and start the change. You can,
– If you’re a mother or have young children that look up to you, teach them that their hair color doesn’t define them but how they treat others does. Do exercises with them where they point out their inner beauty qualities. I did a whole post on positive affirmations that has some inner beauty mantra’s, which would be perfect for young girls.
Compliment Personality Traits
– The biggest way we can switch societies mindset is if we change it within ourselves. Instead of only complimenting someone’s looks, give them compliments on their personality. If you think someone looks pretty tell them but, also implement compliments about their character from time to time.
Make your own Inner Beauty a priority
– You guys know we talk a lot about self-love here on Simply Michelle. What would a post about inner beauty be without mentioning self love? The best way for others to find you beautiful is for you to find yourself beautiful at every stage of your life. For example; when I feel you can see the kindness of my personality in my eyes that’s when I feel I look the most beautiful like in the photo below.
So to bring it all full circle, how did I answer my best friends question? Here we had an example of how your inner beauty affects how people see your outer beauty. I told her “I don’t like to compare woman to woman but, no she’s not prettier than you. The fact that she’s 25 bashing you with a bunch of boys, that’s what makes her ugly.” Be mindful of how inner and outer beauty work together.
What’s your stance on Inner Beauty? Have you ever experienced what my best friend went through? How do you plan to flip the outer beauty vs. inner beauty narrative? Let me know down in the comments. Thanks for stopping by, until next time….
Be Nice. Be Good.