Importance of Inner Beauty

Hey guys! It’s been a little while since I’ve posted. In my last post I spoke about the importance of taking a break, and that’s exactly what I did. This small break has given me the opportunity to experience some necessary things, that I hope to share and turn into something inspiring for everyone. One of the things I experienced was my best friend being bullied and called belittling names by her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. While this incident got me fuming with anger it also got me thinking about the importance of inner beauty.

Almost everyone goes through this at some point, your ex gets into a new relationship and you wonder if the new person they’re seeing is “better” or “prettier” than you. So, of course that question came out of my friends mouth. “Michelle, is she prettier than me? Why would she say that stuff about me? She doesn’t even know me..” This question lead me to really examine the weight of inner beauty, and how it can affect people’s view of you.

Inner Beauty Importance

What is Inner Beauty?

As women, physical beauty has sadly been the most important quality for as long as I can remember and inner beauty has been painted as something to mock. I’m sure we’ve all heard that the term inner beauty is just used by “ugly” people to make themselves feel better.

Honestly, that’s the biggest load of garbage I’ve ever heard. Inner Beauty is about who you are as a person. What your morals are, how you treat others even when they’ve hurt you. It’s the making of you as a person, not as a body. Inner beauty, is your character and it’s what others will remember once you’re gone.

Outer Beauty Vs. Inner Beauty

So much emphasis is put on our outer beauty that we start to define ourselves by it. We only feel worthy if we start to get attention from potential mates, or if people fluff up our ego with compliments about what’s outside. We brush off things like “you’re a good person” but live off of things like “those jeans make your butt look good.” I’m not saying you shouldn’t take pride in your butt looking good, you work what yo’ momma gave you honey. I’m saying as a society we have it all backwards.

It’s no secret that our outer beauty changes as we get older, that’s just apart of being a human. So what do we have when that outer beauty has “faded“? When we have everything society deems unattractive like, wrinkles, cellulite, grey hair, loose skin. What do we have left to offer once everything society has deemed worthy is gone? You’ve guessed it…we have our inner beauty.

I can recognize that with so much emphasis on outer beauty, the words inner beauty can feel like a cheap shot. As I mentioned earlier I think saying inner beauty is just a way for ugly girls to feel okay with themselves is bull-shit, but with the amount of weight we put on outer beauty I understand it. So how can we as a society start to change this?

Inner Beuaty Vs. Outer Beauty

Flipping Societies Narrative

Changing the way society looks at inner vs outer beauty, is no simple task. Nor is it a task you or I can fix on our own. With how embedded female beauty standards are in our minds, it’ll take an army.  However, there are a few things you can do in your personal life to help open up this conversation and start the change. You can,

  • Start Young

    – If you’re a mother or have young children that look up to you, teach them that their hair color doesn’t define them but how they treat others does. Do exercises with them where they point out their inner beauty qualities. I did a whole post on positive affirmations that has some inner beauty mantra’s, which would be perfect for young girls.

  • Compliment Personality Traits

    – The biggest way we can switch societies mindset is if we change it within ourselves. Instead of only complimenting someone’s looks, give them compliments on their personality. If you think someone looks pretty tell them but, also implement compliments about their character from time to time.

  • Make your own Inner Beauty a priority

    – You guys know we talk a lot about self-love here on Simply Michelle. What would a post about inner beauty be without mentioning self love? The best way for others to find you beautiful is for you to find yourself beautiful at every stage of your life. For example; when I feel you can see the kindness of my personality in my eyes that’s when I feel I look the most beautiful like in the photo below.

    My Inner Beauty

So to bring it all full circle, how did I answer my best friends question? Here we had an example of how your inner beauty affects how people see your outer beauty. I told her “I don’t like to compare woman to woman but, no she’s not prettier than you. The fact that she’s 25 bashing you with a bunch of boys, that’s what makes her ugly.” Be mindful of how inner and outer beauty work together.

What’s your stance on Inner Beauty? Have you ever experienced what my best friend went through? How do you plan to flip the outer beauty vs. inner beauty narrative? Let me know down in the comments. Thanks for stopping by, until next time….

Be Nice. Be Good.

Mich. x

Simply Michelle

Hi! I’m Mich. I’m a 26 year old young woman trying to navigate adulthood and all the challenges it brings. On Simply Michelle you will find genuine posts about a wide range of topics from mental health & faith to makeup & baking. This is my safe place to be vulnerable and hopefully you'll feel that you can do the same. I hope you stick around!

Be Nice. Be Good. x

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  1. Thesacredspaceap says:

    Thank you so much for posting this. I can relate so much to this post. I agree everyone is obsessed with outer beauty and it is what many people focus and judge you on. I strongly believe inner beauty is what makes us beautiful.

    1. yess! I 100% agree with you, nothing wrong with having or caring about your outer beauty but it’s when it interferes with your inner beauty is when it becomes a problem xx

  2. I love this post! It’s bizarre to think you’d naturally say, for example, “your hair looks amazing today” but not “you’re so kind, you did a really nice thing there” to people!
    I’m definitely trying to compliment people for them as people more!

    Rhianna x

    1. right!?! not saying that there is anything wrong with complimenting someone’s hair because it’s okay to take pride in your outer beauty, it’s when your outer beauty becomes all you care about and stop treating others kindly xx

  3. I love this post! I feel so much better about myself when someone actually comments on my personality, I also love bending able to comment on other people’s too. Inner beauty and self love is so important and it really makes you a better person x

    1. i could not agree more aaliyah! thanks so much for reading and leaving a lovely comment xx

  4. This is such a lovely post. It’s definitely true that your looks do not define you, it’s whether or not you are a kind person. Thank you for sharing xx

    1. thanks so much for reading, i’m so glad you enjoyed xx

  5. I usually compliment a person on their inner beauty, probably more so than I would for their outer, physical attributes. The same as I am always attracted to someones personality more than I am by their looks. Society places too much stock on how people look, especially on social media where we are pressured into believing we should all look like we just fell off the cover of Vogue. Great post; thanks so much for sharing! 🙂

    Sarah 🌺 || Boxnip

    1. completely agree sarah! with everything like filters and facetune (not knocking it bc i use filters myself) people can really become obsessed with looking perfect not realizing that your personality is what outshines your physical beauty x

  6. This is SUCH an important post! I know what you mean about the fact that it’s gonna take a lot before society flips the narrative, but I believe that we’re slowly getting there! The internets “cancel culture” (as much as I hate it) has got people thinking about the persons actions and words as opposed to their looks, and we’re getting so much better at praising those who act kindly to others. Hopefully, in time, we focus so much on intelligence and morality and less on looks.

    Jas xx |

    1. i completely agree with you jasmine, we’ve gotten better as a society at not letting those who have a high status get away with unacceptable behavior. fashion and trends change constantly but kindness will never go out of style xx

  7. I love this! There’s so much pressure on looking perfect that it’s all we think about sometimes. But when you meet someone, it’s always nice to remember someone for their personality rather than something physical. I loved what you said about trying to compliment personality traits to reinforce this. It’s always nicer to receive compliments like that!! x


    1. thank you sophie! i totally agree, even i get swept up into thinking “oh i have to look perfect in case this person see’s me” thinking my physically appearance is the end all be all, when in reality id much rather then remember me for my personality. xx

  8. I’d much rather be complimented on a personality trait or something that I’m good at, rather than something physical!

    Jenny in Neverland

    1. completely agree jenny! xx

  9. I think we miss a wealth of awesome people who could change the world, to focus on swallow outer beauty/fakery. Being kind is often ignored for the loudest, most obnoxious. One day we will realize we are worshipping the wrong celebrities

    1. completely agree debbie! kindness will get you much further than shock value outfits xx

  10. I loved this post. I blogged about something similar. The question is so much deeper than we accept at surface level. What is beauty? Where do we get our ideas about what’s beautiful? Where did ppl get them before our generation was born.
    Fascinating stuff. It’s what I do my academic work in. I think u have the right idea though. The surface is the most beautiful when it reflects an inner beauty. Great, thought provoking write-up.

    1. thank you so much, really appreciate this well thought out comment. glad you enjoyed the post, i enjoyed writing it.

  11. This posted was so real Michelle and super profound! I feel like there needs to be more attention and focus on inner beauty. With social media maintaining a strong concentration on image, inner beauty is easily lost. People are doing what they can to make that perfect image and sometimes forgetting their inner beauty shines greater than they ever imagine. I like that you put attention on inner beauty because this is everything I stand for and you’re smart by saying we should pay compliments to a person’s spirit as much as their physical attributes😍 Nice post sis♥️

    Natonya |

    1. thank you so much natonya, i always like to think of the kardashians when giving an example. they work so hard to create the perfect image, perfect body, clothes and makeup but then forget about what’s on the inside by publicly bashing others.

      1. So true. We need to put more effort into our inner beauty first, then the outer beauty will shine so much better.

  12. I loved this post, and I hope your friend is feeling better and feeling more confident about herself. I know how hard it can be when you get one negative comment said to you, and even if you’ve had 100 positive comments, the negative comment always seems to outweigh it but that’s where positivity comes into it, and if you learn to focus more on the positive comments then that one negative comment won’t get to you as much. Love all of your advice though, and I definitely love hearing more compliments about my personality than my looks, but like I said, when you hear that one bad thing about your looks, it sadly sticks in your mind!

    Chloe xx

    1. thank you chloe! thankfully she is feeling better, but i completely agree with what you said. no matter how many positive comments we get we tend to only believe the negative ones! x

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