Hey guys! I hope you’re all doing well, before I jump in I want to give you all a little update. I know I am a little bit behind on my Blogmas posts. Life has been crazy these past couple weeks. On day 5 of blogmas I wrote all about slowing down at the holidays. In that post I mentioned how I just lost my job. As if that wasn’t enough craziness for the season, I have also already gotten a new job. This job is completely unlike anything I’ve done before so, I’m having to get a lot of things done in a short amount of time. Now that you know why I haven’t been as on top of my blogposts as I’d like I can get into todays post. For some people the holidays are a time of unwanted criticism from family they see once a year, and paralyzing anxiety about many different things. Here are some tips for setting boundaries and some important reminders about those boundaries during the holiday season.
You Don’t Always Have To Have the Tough Conversations
In this day and age, everyone is very vocal about what they believe or don’t believe in. Whether thats with politics, sexuality, reproductive rights, the list could go on and on. While I think it’s great that people are standing up for what they believe in, and I do find it important. The Christmas dinner table may not be the best place to do it.
If you have a family member whom you have disagreeing beliefs with at your holiday celebration, it is not your duty to get into an all out screaming match with them. If they try to engage with you on it you can simply say, “We have different beliefs and I don’t think this is the appropriate place to discuss them.” You then can set up a time where you can speak with them privately if you genuinely do want to have a conversation about your different views. It doesn’t change how strongly you believe in something if you choose protecting your mental health over having a conversation with the Uncle whose mind you won’t change.
You Are Allowed To Leave
I think this is a really important tip to remember. While I like to believe most family members have the best intentions at heart, being in your mid 20s/30s can be kind of challenging at the holidays. You have all these extend family members telling you what you SHOULD be doing that you aren’t. They still see you as that 13 year old who had braces and sat at the kids table. They still aren’t use to you being at the adult table, but that’s not your problem.
If you feel like you are being spoken to in a disrespectful manner, you have every right to remove yourself from the situation. It doesn’t make you rude, or ungrateful for their “advice.” No, it makes you an adult who can make their own decisions about their own life. People, even those that are related to us have a lot of opinions. However, its not your responsibility to be the punching bag of those opinions. Whether it’s just leaving the conversation or leaving the environment all together, if someone is making you feel uncomfortable it’s important to remove yourself.
Do Mental Prep Beforehand
I always find it essential to do some mental prep before you have interactions with family that you may not see all the time. While I fully stand behind my last tip of removing yourself when you feel you need to, some family members just have very different personalities than you do. They never mean any harm, they just are different from you. It’s something you just need to deal with it for a couple hours. However there are some great mental practices you could do beforehand.
You could practice saying some positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror like “I am in charge of my life.” “I am right where I’m suppose to be in life.” This is a great on if your family members are particularly judgmental. Something I would really find helpful, is spending a little quiet time with Jesus. Either in reading the Bible, listening to a christian podcast, or just listening to christian music. I always find time with Jesus puts me in a better mindset.
Always Put Yourself First
I hope you guys have gotten some ideas on how you can set boundaries during the holiday season. The most important thing to remember is to put yourself first. Your mental wellbeing should never come second to protecting the feelings of your family. This time of year can be a great way to catch up with people that you don’t typically see. Ultimately though you’ll see them for a few days out of the year. Those few days aren’t worth sending yourself into a poor state of mental health.
Today’s FREE GIFT is a simple and fun Christmas coloring page. I personally love coloring, I find it to be so relaxing. Work on this while you have cookies in the oven, and a Christmas film on in the background. You have yourself a relaxing holiday evening. Let me know in the comments how you guys set boundaries during the holidays. Do you have family members where you need to set specific boundaries with? I’d love to hear from you all. Thanks so much for stopping by, until next time…
Be Nice. Be Good.